When I was in college I was in the painting room working on yet another class assignment when a friend came to visit me in the studio. It was odd, not that she came to visit but that I was used to seeing graphic design majors, fine art majors and the likes in the art building prancing around at all hours of the day and night (Sometimes all night without any sleep). Since she was neither, I wondered what had brought her to this side of the tracks. We spent some time chatting and then she turned her gaze to what I was doing... A self- portrait in the style of a famous painter.. but what caught her eye was not how well she thought my technique was or how she thought I captured the artist's style.. no that could have all been true but that was not what she pointed out. My friend asked " Why did you make your hair so short?" I was a little taken back by both the tone and the implication in the question but I thought for a bit then urged her that it was alright because my hair was short. She told me that if she were doing the painting she would have made her hair look longer.. I guess she felt free to critique my work and my hair style that day...I have been thinking about that situation lately, because it brings to mind a painting I admire.
I am sure that you remember the great artist Vincent Van Gogh and the infamous story of how he cut off his own ear after an argument with his fellow artist Gaughin. How he wrapped the bloody ear up and mailed it to his lady friend. That's a story that most of us would have tried to hide... to push under the rug pretending that it never happened... we most assuredly would have kept it to ourselves... nope... not Mr. Van Gogh, he chose to do a couple of self - portraits to commemorate the glorious event! " Self-portrait with Bandaged Ear" is one such painting. A somber looking Van Gogh gazes at the viewer from what appears to be his studio. Although the background is colorful there is a looming feeling of cold. This could be because of the big blue coat and furry hat that adorns the artist but I think it comes more from his intense gaze.. Oh and yes his freshly bandaged ear!
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| " Self- portrait With Bandaged Ear" , Vincent Van Gogh, 1889, oil on canvas |
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I admire the fact that he could have fudged the portrait.. painted himself with the flap of his hat turned down or painted himself with ear muffs or painted some long curly red hair down to his shoulders (and set a new trend for that time) in the painting but he chose to paint himself just as he was, bandaged ear and all. It is not always easy to share with other people when we are struggling..We are afraid that when we share our weaknesses people will label us as weak. People choose to hold on to the things we share even when we are over them, they have a hard time seeing us differently. We worry about seeming too negative or placing too much burden on others. Or boring others with our minor problems. I have always admired people who are candid and real. I am drawn to those who are not afraid to say what's on their mind or share their heart with those they are conversing with ( I think that's one of the many qualities that attracted me to my husband)...Maybe I admire that quality because it's something that I would like to cultivate in my own life.
